L’île

About a year ago, I came off my antidepressants.

—

O, blissful days of my youth, happy days where I wasn’t aligned, didn’t have boundaries, and considered my body as everything but a temple, abandoning it to entire weekends of endless festivities, emotional and physical promiscuity, as well as, of course, eating toast for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

O, how I miss you, my darling years. Why did I ever grow up? Why did I ever learn about self-care, inner work, and proper nutrition?

“Do you know what my ex told me the last time we spoke?” I was telling my friend. “He said: “You are the best woman I’ve ever had. You’re the only one who loved me the way you did. With you, I felt like a man. I felt like I could do anything. Losing your gaze was losing everything.”

“I was like, what the fuck, how about YOUR love for ME?”