As I am walking down the aisle at the arm of my father, all I can feel is a sense of intense panic and eternity—beyond emotion. Inside, it’s blank.

The bagpipes stop. Everyone cheers, and I see the man I am about to marry, his face tense and warm. I turn around to see my brother sobbing, my dog freaking out, and the expressionless face of my mother, who, I can feel it, is beyond shock herself.