Hotel California

The sun was beating hard as I was walking down the streets of Los Angeles, gripping at my coffee, tip toeing amongst my emotions. I knew they were there, hiding in the hazy morning skies, weaved in the fibers of a palm tree or the swinging step of that yoga girl passing by.

Really, I didn’t want to face them.

Emotions are overrated, I told myself. Why do we need to let ourselves feel all of them?
Can’t we sometimes, just for a moment, brush them off and move on?

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Living

About a year ago, I came off my antidepressants.

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O, Blissful Days

O, blissful days of my youth, happy days where I wasn’t aligned, didn’t have boundaries, and considered my body as everything but a temple, abandoning it to entire weekends of endless festivities, emotional and physical promiscuity, as well as, of course, eating toast for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

O, how I miss you, my darling years. Why did I ever grow up? Why did I ever learn about self-care, inner work, and proper nutrition?

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All Of Them Narcissists

“Do you know what my ex told me the last time we spoke?” I was telling my friend. “He said: “You are the best woman I’ve ever had. You’re the only one who loved me the way you did. With you, I felt like a man. I felt like I could do anything. Losing your gaze was losing everything.”

“I was like, what the fuck, how about YOUR love for ME?”

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Confidence

PROLOGUE

I had been invited to this podcast and had almost said no. I was in a no time of my life. I would just say, no, no, no. The world was shutting down, I was about to close my company, I had quietly let go of social media. I had lost my confidence in being any type of a public person. Maybe this was it. Maybe I’d just disappear and find peace living an entirely private life.

I knew I had so much to say, so much to write.

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Will I Go Grey?

I was walking down the bright streets of New York City like I owned them.
I felt great, confident. I was a woman with a place to go.

That’s when I started sensing that something had changed. There were so many of them. Women with grey hair. They owned the streets.

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Behind The Bliss

BUT FIRST, coffee A DISCLAIMER.
(The below is not the subject of this letter; I’m just giving you a bit of context)

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The Ghosts Of Manhattan

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