I remember after I met my boyfriend, my friends would ask me, where did you meet him, and how did you do it? I was, like them*, an absolute disaster at dating, I was in my forties, and I had a track record that felt a little bit like The Northman’s**.

I remember before I met him. Friends would tell me, enough with boys. You need a man. You’re a woman for f%@k’s sake! You need a real man who will care for you.